People ask me, ‘What are the Love Languages?’
There have been 5 Love Languages highlighted by Gary Chapman in his book “The 5 Love Languages”… and to summarise it for you, a Love Language is your particular way of expressing your love to other people. It is also your way of ‘feeling loved’ by other people.
Let me give you a quick quiz..
- Think of your favourite person right now.
- Say their name out loud… (lets pretend you said “Mary”)
- What would you do if you wanted to show __”Mary”_____ (the person you named above) that you really really really loved them…
- ok… so your answer above, will, in most cases tell you what your own Love Language is…
so…. if you answered that you would buy Mary a gift… then it is highly likely your Primary Love Language is Gift Giving… the reason for this is that in most cases, whilst we are ‘uneducated’ in the ways of love 😉 we tend to ‘love others’ in the way we would like to be loved…
It is as we learn how to love others well that we expand our skill level to ‘showing’ and ‘doing’ loving things in ways that we wouldn’t necessarily be or do ourselves.
We each have a ‘Love Tank’ which needs to be filled. As children we looked to our parents, siblings and family to fill our ‘Love Tank’. In life we find that some people are better at filling our Love Tanks than others and this is why it is GREAT to educate ourselves. We need to be Self-Aware. It’s very empowering to be aware of our own needs. It’s very healthy to ask for our needs to be met. To have great relationships we must realise that we need to TRAIN the significant people in our lives HOW we want to be treated.
There are 5 Love Languages..
Acts of Service
Words of Encouragement, and
SO… WHAT IS YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE?
An easy WAY to work IT out is to ask yourself 2 questions…
First… Who is someone that you really love?… jot down the answer here…
Second, if you wanted to show ……………. (insert their name) that you love them, which one of the 5 Love Languages above would you use to do it?
Until we are ‘educated’ and ‘aware’ we usually love others in the manner in which we want to be loved… So the above test works really well. The Result you get answering the 2 Questions above will, in theory, tell you what YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE is.
There is an exception to the rule and if you want to know more email me…
In short.. If your Mum’s Love Language is Quality Time and you give her presents all the time but never go and spend any time with her then she is never feeling ‘Love’ from you…
It’s like a French Man speaking in French to an Italian Man who in turn is speaking in Italian… They are both SAYING something but none of it means ANYTHING to the other person because they CAN’T understand it!!!!
You can make a real difference in all of your significant relationships with this info.. even the relationships that are great! They can get even better 🙂
Gary Champan has written a book about the subject and it’s an incredibly powerful way to create a SHIFT in ANY relationship.. romantic, friendship, work, employee, etc… If you can get it, read and apply it will change your life…
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